Shane Dowling : Nonviolent Communication

What is Nonviolent Communication?

Nonviolent Communication(NVC) helps us communicate clearly by breaking down and identifying our needs and communicating them compassionately.


NVC can help reduce conflict towards others and ourselves. It can also help us to hear others out and recognise each other's needs and support acting more compassionately day to day.


At a high level, the steps involved are:


Be present and listen carefully to what the other person is saying. How is it affecting you? Just observe, don't evaluate.


Express how you feel. Be specific, give narratives if you need to.


Identify the needs at the root of your feelings. This can take practice, the objective is to be able to sincerely express yourself directly.


Express clearly and specifically what you really want. Be specific in the action needed. Express yourself with positive language. Ask for something, don't frame the request as something to stop being done.


As a bonus, you can also use NVC when you are listening.


There are also behaviours to be mindful of when practising NVC.